r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???
It has been a long time since I last wrote, but I’m trying. Once again, I am vibrating with things I’d like to say, words I want to give because that is the most I have sometimes—a presentation of my emotions cemented as fact. It is a testament to being here, I think, a firm resolution in a love that often feels boundless.
This winter was kind to me, despite its bitter appearance. My edges grew softer. I did not burrow myself quite as deep. The wolves stayed away, and continue to keep their distance. There is a light somewhere. Spring’s warmth meanders in and fists unfurl.
We buzz together in this home I have built for you. Beneath the floorboards, we are humming something sweeter than before. I’ve been trying to map it out again: the chronology of circular drives and train ticket stubs and morning routines, but all I keep coming up with is patience. We have taught each other patience, and here is the reward. How close we have been so many times to curling away from each other, only to laugh ourselves further into love.
Perhaps, unsurprisingly, I spend most of my time these days being grateful.